We fell for each other straight away. He called me a "Fraidy Cat" for not accepting his first invitation for coffee and he was it for me after that. We never looked back, not once. Not even in the end. You see, we lived life to the fullest. Thomas and I were wonderful together and fostered each other's growth. His brother-in-law, Tony, told me not long ago that Thomas was always sure of us, even before we married in 2002. We had rough times, like everyone. We struggled with finances and family when Daniel, my son was young and living at home. But all of those things worked themselves out with time and much dedicated love. Daniel and Thomas grew close as Daniel matured and began to appreciate his step-dad. Thomas loved Daniel and helped him become the loving man he is today. But in the early years, we lived in a small 2 bedroom home in a suburb of Indianapolis, Indiana. Thomas' work was up and down-Americans were always astounded at Thomas' ease with customers-he was so likable, interesting and humorous, employers felt threatened by his popularity, which in turn made his professional life a struggle at times. Thomas always encouraged me to finish my Master's Degree...so much so that he often drove me to school and watched to make sure I didn't cut out for a cocktail instead of class. He had a medical set-back in 2004, a heart blockage known as "The Widow-maker." Luckily, he made it to the Cardiac Cath Lab in time and we were able to share the next ten years together. As our finances became solid, we worked our way through (it's taken me 20 minutes to count them all...) 20 cars-trading up on them all. Thomas was a car enthusiast-lover-man who wanted the best of everything. We also traded up on homes...6 house moves in about 8 years...our last move to Brer Rabbit (I know, who lives on Brer Rabbit Drive with an Englishman?!) is where Thomas proclaimed it is our "Forever Home" and they would have to carry him out of there...sometimes he was too perceptive. Thomas was particular about things "being right." For those of you who might read this, I'm sure you might know the similarities Thomas shared with his sister, Karen-two peas in a pod those two :) and I love them both. So through this journey, I am also trying to adopt Thomas' way of looking at things, solving problems and now living our life on my own. Oh, I know he is with me...right there saying, "Melodie..honey, please don't crunch ice, please don't buy candles, please don't waste money on a new duvet when we have 8 of them and the bills need paying..." Yes, baby, you are right. Thomas loved all of us. He love, love, loves his daughter Amie and his two grandsons, Rico and Kius. Amie flew over to see us in early summer and spent a wonderful week in our home, meeting our friends and living our life with us, which will always be a special memory. Even though Thomas did not get to meet Kius in person, he told me it was ok, that he loves them both so much and feels a connection with them. Perhaps because Amie too, has much of her father's wonderfulness all through her :) Distance and circumstances may have kept them apart, may have compromised their closeness at times, but make no mistake, Thomas is with you Amie, Rico and Kius. Thomas was a special uncle to his nieces and nephews...I cannot count how many times I have heard this from them. He was particularly close to Rebecca, his blonde on fire. Rebecca has gone through exceptional lengths to visit us, worked all hours to save money to fly over and spent one month with us during the hardest summer of our lives. Thomas was also particularly close to his brother-in-law, Tony. Thomas told the same stories about Tony that Tony told to me about Thomas. They loved and respected each other and Thomas was always grateful Tony took such care of Karen, Rebecca and Elliott. Even when times were tough for them, Thomas always told me of Tony and Karen's resourcefulness and smarts and how he knew they would persevere as they have. We were blessed to have Tony and Karen with us from midnight 22nd of December 2014 through Thomas' death and his wake and through my darkest hours. For this, Thomas and I will forever be grateful. Our friends are beautiful and plentiful, some British, some American and even an Italian has worked his way into our circle of true friends. We have had such fun and laughter, sometimes sadness and sometimes a rebirth of friendship which proved to be stronger in the end. We have been through this all together and again, we thank you for being there for us. We are friends with young couples and have been blessed to see their young love, followed by weddings and babies-Kennedy and Blake. We have had so much fun over the years over-indulging at Ros & Tim Kersley's for a gourmet meal and whatever the beverage, be sure to know it was served with a "Kersley pour." We have been whisked off to long week-ends in Kentucky and Tennessee to enjoy our days together stress-free and relaxing. Don't ever forget "The Alamo" or their wine glasses, which you might see at our house ;) There were friends along the way that preceded Thomas...Troy and Carrie. Also friends we with whom we lost contact. Friends who still mean so munch to us. If you feel the loss of Thomas then you have a place in our hearts. Thomas loves my family as his own. He told my mother that the day he died several times. My nieces and nephews, sister and brother, mother and father all love Thomas as they love me. Thomas was always free with advice for the kids..."don't drive too fast-don't you worry about how fast I drive." Thomas was always trying to explain my father to others...even Thomas could not always find the words to describe Cecil Upchurch. Thomas had a connection with my dad and they loved and respected one another. My sister is the best cook. Thomas did not eat my cooking-not in 14 years together. But Vickie, now she can make a meal! Thomas would say, Ashely is a sweetheart, Bradley has found his true love, and Andrew will surprise us all-not sure just yet with what, but Thomas was sure it will be BIG-maybe president, who knows. Thomas always felt Tim was a wonderful husband and father and somehow aligned his position in the family with Tim. Thomas loved our babies. Barlow, now 11, was born 10 months after we married. He is a long-haired tabby cat who has the best of both worlds, hunter and canned cat food. Now there is Sammie...she is his princess and she looks and acts the part. Molly-Rocket...the name says it all. Then there is Chelsea and Lily...the Golden Girls, he loved them as if they were cats. Thomas asked the animals be brought to him one by one only hours before his death and he gave them one last love before he left us. He also loved those that are with him now, Sparkles, Murphy and Ty. Thomas spoke often of his lovely mother and father and his childhood in Manchester. He had fond memories of his brothers and sister growing up and loved his family, even though they had grown apart. He truly loved his heritage and even after becoming a US Citizen, would not admit that we won the war in 1776. I don't know much about Thomas' work in England, only that between his upbringing, his family, his schoolmates and workmates, he came to me with a desire for success, a heart meant for love and a dedication to make as many people smile as possible throughout the years we spent together. I do know that when he met Pete Myers, a knew love called "Autobahn" grew. They were his other family, Pete, Kim, Eden and Ava and "the guys" + Kiesha. It is not about the money, it never was. That became crystal clear for both of us on 25th of December. I know Thomas was happy to be there from the start. So, what happened? Most of you know...leg and back pain...negative X-rays and Physical Therapy...1st of May, 2014 an MRI and a terminal diagnosis of Lung Cancer, an emergent hip replacement, Radiation then Chemo then more radiation and more radiation...and ultimately meningeal carcinomatosis (neoplastic meningitis) which is rare and deadly and unfortunately took our Thomas away. So now, I will continue my pride for Thomas' braveness in the face of cancer. He worked until the end because he wanted to contribute. He took incredibly high doses of narcotics and continued his life with his work, with his friends, family and with me. Some of you might not know we were fortunate enough to take our last Caribbean Cruise one month before Thomas' death. We had a beautiful 12 day vacation where we spent our days and nights together floating at sea, just how we loved it. Thomas loved life and he accomplished so much in his 54 years..his DASH. He created his life and his home in the US and learned from his mistakes...although he did not make many mistakes by the time I met him. He took me to England and Paris, France in 2009 and we traveled the US from the Eastern Seaboard to the farthest southern point in Key West to many Florida trips and flew west to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon in 2013 (that trip would not have happened if not for Cherie-thank you ;) We took our first Caribbean Cruises in 2010 for Daniel and Ashley's Wedding and ended up with a total of 4 cruises to our credit. But this was not our last cruise, because we will be returning to St. Thomas September, 2015 to leave a bit of Thomas on the beach to be swept out to the sea and let Thomas wait for those of us who wish to join him.